Own It, See It, Change It The 3-Step Plan for Personal and Professional Success

Own It, See It, Change It The 3-Step Plan for Personal and Professional Success Success isnt something that happens to you its something you create.In the years during which I went from a part-time employee to a sales executive for a company doingmore than $3 1000000000000 in sales, I learned that personal success isbedrngnis some unattainable, mysterious thing. It is ours to gain, to lose, and to share. Let me show you exactly how to take the reigns and make success work for youStep 1 Own ItNo one will ever own your victories but you. Of course, the flip side is that no one else owns your blunders, either.Two-timeNFL MVP quarterback Steve Young threw 202 interceptions in his career. Those were 202 opportunities to blame his teammates however, Young never did. He took responsibility foreach games outcome regardless of how the mistakes happened.As a leader, you need to take the hitwhen your team faces challenges, even when those challenges are beyond your control. Its easy to get lost in a blame game, but dwelling on what is going wrong or whose fault it is wont fix the issue. That is pure victim mentality.On the other hand, hero mentality prioritizes finding a solutionfirst and then addressing what went sideways. Once you understand that you are in control no matter the result, you can find the audacity to try new things to cement your and your crews success.Owning it means takingthe hits but it also means reaping the rewards.Step 2 Visualize ItBefore you can go after success, you have to know what youre looking for.For example, I love working on my golf play, but for years water hazards were my downfall. Id approach them the same way every time Id line up, see the pond blocking my path, look down, and think, I hate water hazards. Then Id swing, and my ball would dive directly into the pond. It took a lot of missed shots, but I finally figured out what I was doing wrong I was fixating on the obstacle blocking me and not the pa th around it.The best adjustment I made was simply visualizing my ball soaring over the water and landing cleanly on the green. Pairing a winning visualization with proper technique absolutely helped me get over my hurdle. I just had to see it before I could do it. Focusing on a positive outcome is a concrete step toward changing for the better.Implementing visualization can be hard if you dont know what success looks like. Just remember, successful people will always surround themselves with individuals who are more successful than they are. Consider eliminating any energy vampireswho may be holding you back, and focus on your relationships with those invested in your best interests.Go ahead and look at someone in your life who is thriving. Now, take three minutes to write down what they actively do to meet their goals. Circle the most important thing on that list and do it.Step 3 Change ItIf you keep doing what youve always done, youre going to keep getting the same results. Its j ust like looking in the mirror What you see is what you get. Youre going to have to implement some change, and then the improvements will follow.Iachieved great on-paper accomplishments in my first high-level management position, but despite that, my staff was extremely unhappy under my supervision. When I took the time to look at my own contributions to the mess, I gave myself the power to fix it. My employees attitudes werent the schwierigkeit the way I managed was the problem.Unless Ichanged my behavior, there was no way I could ask my team to change theirs.Change is something all leaders are asked to do in their careers. As people, environments, and businesses adjust, so must we. Holding on to the way you do things in an attempt to fix your problem is like digging deeper to try to get out of a ditch. The way to grow is to embrace the change. Only then will you see new opportunities for success.Its easy to blame other people or outside circumstances for our shortcomings, but doin g that strips you of your power. By owning your circumstances, visualizing your goals, and changing when needed, youll find that success is yours for the taking.Hernani Alves is the founder of Balanced IQ and the author of Balanced Accountability Three Leadership Secrets to Win Hearts and Maximize Performance. Connect with Hernani on LinkedIn, Facebook, or his Amazon authors page.

Too Confident to Fail

Too Confident to FailToo Confident to FailWith the proliferation of the virtual marketplace and crowdfunding sources, its not surprising to learn that today its easier than ever to start a business and get it funded. Its also not surprising that since there are mora new businesses than ever, there are more failed businesses than ever, too. But what is surprising (at least to me) is that studies show that failure doesnt equal learning experience in the startup world. In fact, failure isnt an indicator of future success but of future failure.Heres James Surowiecki in his recent New Yorkercolumn on the subjectA 2009 study of venture-backed firms found that entrepreneurs who had failed in the past were not much more likely to succeed in new ventures than first-time entrepreneurs were- some eighty per cent of those who had failed before failed again. A later study of more than eight thousand German ventures came to an even grimmer conclusion founders who had previously failed were more li kely to fail than novices.However, more failure in the startup world, while bad for entrepreneurs, is actually good news for non-entrepreneurs.Because we dont know how to identify good companies in advance, investors end up funding lots of them in the hope that a few will hit it big. As a character on the new HBO series Silicon Valley says of a V.C., You know how sea turtles have, like, a shit ton of babies because most of them die on the way down to the water? Peter just wants to make koranvers his money makes it to the ocean. The economy has come to rely on this Darwinian process to drive innovation. Overconfidence means that many more companies start up than will ever succeed, Brian Wu, a professor of strategy at the University of Michigan, told me. Thats unfortunate for individual companies. The paradox is that its really beneficial for society.And so, if you think you have what it takes to become an entrepreneur (and what it takes, first and foremost, is an unreasonable level o f self confidence a 1997 study in the Journal of Business Venturing found that entrepreneurs are overconfident about their ability to prevent bad outcomes, and a recent paper called Living Forever notes that entrepreneurs are more likely than other people to overestimate their life spans), then you better make sure your first venture isnt a failure.To that end, here are three pieces of unorthodox startup advice from three successful entrepreneurs (who all happen to be Stanford Business School graduates)1. Make sure youre the right entrepreneur for the venture.According to Ben Horowitz, CEO of clothing retailer Bonobos, Its not so much a question of whether you are a high-potential entrepreneur or whether your idea is great, but are you a high-potential entrepreneur for that great idea? Before Bonobos, I worked on an idea for a personalized content magazine, similar to Instaper. There was no reason I was the right person to build that business, therefore I didnt.2. Visualize your com pany as a fully formed entity.Beth Cross, the CEO of equestrian apparel and footwear company Ariat International, says, Visualizing massive success from Day 1 helps you design the many small elements of what will eventually form the structure, strategy, and business model of a much larger company. Often the excitement of the start-up- of product development and fundraising- distract people from taking the long view about company and the culture. Perhaps it can be compared to the difference between a wedding and a marriage- the excitement and flurry of activity during the start-up phase is the wedding, and the hard work of building a sustainable company is more like a marriage.3. Create meaning for your customers and your employees. Chip Conley, founder of Joie de Vivre Hotels, the largest boutique hotel chain in California, says its important to ask yourself, What brings a sense of meaning for your stakeholders? What creates a transformative, self-actualized experience for your cust omers? How do you create pride of ownership for your investors? To help answer these questions, Conley recommends that entrepreneurs read Viktor Frankls Mans Search for Meaning, in which Frankl related that even at Auschwitz some prisoners were able to discover meaning in their lives- if only in helping one another through the day- and that those discoveries were what gave them the will and strength to endure. According to Conley, Frankls book has influenced how he creates meaning and culture at Joie de Vivre, which, if its name is any indication, is likely a joyous place to work.Read mora Epic Fails of the Startup World (New Yorker) Three Entrepreneurs Discuss the Journey to a Successful Business (Stanford Business) Dr. Viktor E. Frankl of Vienna, Psychiatrist of the Search for Meaning, Dies at 92 (NYT)QA With Marcus Lemonis, Star of CNBCs The Profit (Vault)

Getting Hired as an Executive Is a Different Game

Getting Hired as an Executive Is a Different GameGetting Hired as an Executive Is a Different GameIts a very broken ordnungsprinzip at the senior management level as far as Im concerned.Even amidst the frenzied gossiping of local college girls and honking traffic of Northwest Washington DC, the calm demeanor of George Zarubin couldnt hide the frustration. It welches lunchtime at a local Mexican restaurant as we sat down to talk about his 7 month process of finding a new executive position at a nonprofit. Zarubin and I had spoken before about what it welches like working with recruitment organizations (often called headhunters at this level), but I had no idea about the process of being hired to run something like a foundation.Having recently run the $400 million endowment of The America for Bulgaria Foundation and now working as the Executive Director of The AHA Foundation, Zarubin has built a career running internationally focused non-profits around the world. Hes bedrngnis the type of person who would need to spend too much time finding a job. And yet, despite the fact that an entire industry of headhunting companies exist to hire people like Zarubin for these positions, he sees that process as deeply flawed.The executive hiring game has more playersWhen you see the job youre not referred directly to the company, youre referred to the headhunters. And the headhunters dont really want to be looking through a bunch of resumes that have been sent to them.One of the first things that becomes clear listening to Zarubin is the number of players involved in executive hiring. You have the three basic players you, the headhunters, and the company youre trying to get hired by. But actually, the latter two can be much more complex.The system is even more broken because usually its a board thats hiring a headhunting firm, and the board compromises and agrees on a job description, tells the headhunters what they want, and the headhunter doesnt want to go outside those bou ndaries And usually, any kind of criteria thats set by compromise is imperfect in itself usually looking for somebody youre not going to find.But the problems ultimately go beyond that culture of compromise.Related articlesHow hiring a CEO is the same as hiring anyone elseWe are hiring a Head of Marketing in DublinHow we killed our HR departmentHeadhunters are all about networksAt the senior level, either youre in the network or youre not, you either know the recruiter or you dont but theyre not interested in getting to know you Its a fascinating study in imperfect supply and demand. Theres no real good mechanism that links the one with the other.Zarubin explained that in this sense, headhunting firms are very conservative in how they handle their networks. Because they only tend to hire from within those networks, theres plenty of supply in the form of good candidates who simply arent considered. Incredibly, the issue of restrictive networks doesnt just exist for headhunting firms as a whole, it also exists within those firms.The big headhunting firms may not even be sharing information within their own networks, among their own colleagues, and across offices. So the London partner might not know what the Washington partner knows in terms of a person who might be suitable for a placement.The result is that its up to those getting hired as well as people working within the headhunting firms to tackle the system.You have to break that cycle And I bet certain headhunters, if theyre honest, would love to be able to break into all their other colleagues networks and see who it is they have.But even if theres nothing Zarubin can do to affect how headhunters operate, there are steps hes learned to take to be more effective within this entire process.Proactivity is key to getting hired as an executiveZarubin obviously had a lot to say about the system hes witnessed and worked within for most of his professional career, but I was also interested in discussing what les sons hes learned along the way. Those lessons start with being proactive.When I see something on LinkedIn and I see it on a platform of a recruiter, then I try to figure out if I know any of those recruiters. I actually call them to alert them to the fact that Im sending my resume in. You have to be incredibly proactive, a lot more so than you would think.So just because there was a headhunting firm working to find a new executive director for the AHA foundation didnt mean Zarubin could wait to be found and approached about the position. He had to take the first steps.Getting hired for positions that are never announcedMost senior management jobs, like president or CEO never get announced. Theyre all done in secret. Both of my last two senior executive, non-profit positions identified me through my networks and these positions were for jobs that were not posted anywhere.Getting hired for such a job might seem daunting, but Zarubin has a clear strategy which has worked for him.At som e point, I just sent out a message to a whole bunch of the headhunters I was talking to saying I know sometimes you have jobs that arent externally posted. If anything looks like it has a bit of an international flair and suits my qualifications, let me know. Next thing I know, I get a call saying would you consider this non-profit job? I wrote back and said it sounds very intriguing, tell me more. That started a process I would never have gotten into had I not already been in the recruiting process, meeting these recruiters continuing to write to them, keeping my foot in the door and saying Im here and Im looking.Once again, it boils down to building relationships with recruiters and always being proactive. However, Zarubin also cautions that this doesnt mean you can neglect building and maintaining relationships with board members either.There are times when a board can become frustrated with a search process and begin reaching out themselves. Thats where having those relationship s can really make a difference.Ultimately, Zarubins reflection on the entire process was straightforward.Its a very very complicated, imperfect, and competitive process at the senior, non-profit and international development management level it seems to be a very different game. But, its also extremely rewarding when you find the right fit.

Why Politics is Bad for Your (Companys) Health

Why Politics is Bad for Your (Company's) Health Why Politics is Bad for Your (Company's) Health There are few things more beloved in Wisconsin than sausageand bratwurst in particular. So when people in the state seriously consider stopping buying their brats from one of it most iconic homegrown firms you know that something is up.Anyone who has been paying even scant attention to the news of late can guess what's behind the move: Johnsonville Sausage appears on a list of contributors to the gubernatorial campaign of one Scott Walker.The same Scott Walker who, as governor of Wisconsin, is attempting to pass a bill that will strip collective bargaining rights from members of public trade unionsa move Walker insists is necessary to properly balance the state's budget. (Note that the list makes no distinction between corporate donors and corporations that employ big donors.)Unfortunately for Walker and his supporters, plenty of people disagree with his stance, as witnessed by the tens of thousands of protestors who have been taking to the streets and occupying the Capitol building in Madison of late. That's a lot of potential customers for donors to be ticking off at one stroke.The politics of the bill have been well discussed, and are somewhat beside the point now for many of the companies on the listin fact, it's more likely that they are slightly more concerned with the damage to their bottom lines. That's if all the people threatening to boycott their products because of their political donations actually follow through.While the real effectiveness (Did we give up pumping gas from BP stations after the Gulf of Mexico oil spill in 2010?) of the campaignso far only a handful of disgruntled posts have shown up on Johnsonville's Facebook pageremains to be seen, it does once again raise the issue of how wise it is for companies to insert themselves into the political landscape.The Supreme Court may have decided that corporations have the same rights of free speech as people, but whether companies should exercise those rights is another question entirely. Dona ting to a political campaign is one thing, but as the events in Wisconsin show on a daily basis, modern day politics is a divisive place to be. At the end of the day, while it might be rare for any political issue to have a decisive majority (except, ironically, over the question of collective bargaining), the risks for companiesespecially in an age of instant communication and unprecedented access to informationis concerning.There are any number of politicians who could offer advice to companies on how best to respond when they've been caught doing something that will make them unpopular with a large section of their community. But rather than seeking advice on crisis management, companies would be better-served by not interfering to at all.By Phil Stott, Vault.comRelevant: Facebook: Boycott Scott Walker Contributors

Why your boss lacks emotional intelligence

Why your boss lacks emotional intelligence Why your boss lacks emotional intelligence Over the past century, the heartless, no-nonsense CEO has become something of an icon - and a cliché - in American society. Hollywood would have us believe that the Machiavellian chief exec is still alive and well.But that’s just TV, right? How about in the real world? Do businesses still allow these inhumane relics to survive?To find out,  TalentSmart  analyzed the emotional intelligence (EQ) profiles of the million-plus people in our database - workers from the frontlines to the C-suite. We discovered that the answer is yes, organizations today do promote the emotionally inept . . . except when they don’t. Allow me to explain.We found that EQ scores climb with titles from the bottom of the corporate ladder upward toward middle management. Middle managers stand out with the highest EQ scores in the workplace because companies tend to promote people into these positions who are level-headed and good with people. The assumption here is that a manager with a high EQ is someone for whom people will want to work.But things change drastically as you move beyond middle management.For the titles of director and above, scores descend faster than a snowboarder on a black diamond. CEOs, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace.The trick is,  for every title in the graph above, the top performers are those with the highest EQ scores.  Even though CEOs have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace, the best-performing CEOs are those with the highest EQs. You might get promoted with a low EQ, but you won’t outshine your high-EQ competition in your new role.The higher you go above middle management, the more companies focus on metrics to make hiring and promotion decisions. While these short-term, bottom-line indicators are important, it’s shortsighted to make someone a senior leader because of recent monetary achievements. Possibly worse than metrics, companies also promote leaders for their knowledge and tenure, rather than their skill in inspiring o thers to excel.Companies sell themselves short by selecting leaders who aren’t well-rounded enough to perform at the highest levels for the long term.Once leaders get promoted they enter an environment that tends to erode their emotional intelligence. They spend less time in meaningful interactions with their staff and lose sight of how their emotional states impact those around them. It’s so easy to get out of touch that leaders’ EQ levels sink further. It truly is lonely at the top.Whether you’re a leader now or may become one in the future, you don’t have to succumb to this trend. Your emotional intelligence is completely under your control. Work on your EQ and it will boost your performance now. Your effort can also ensure that you don’t experience declines as you climb the corporate ladder. Even if your employer promotes you for the wrong reasons, you’ll still outperform your contemporaries.To help you get started, here are some of my favorite EQ-boosting strategi es for leaders. They apply to anyone, so give them a try, even if you’re not a leader (yet).Acknowledge other people’s feelingsAssertive, action-oriented executives don’t exactly ignore other people’s feelings. What they tend to do instead is to marginalize them or “fix” them so that they don’t get in the way of action. While some have suggested that this is a predominantly male problem, it can more accurately be described as a “power problem.” People who fail to acknowledge other people’s feelings fail to realize that lingering emotions inhibit effective action.So the next time you notice someone on your team expressing a strong emotion, ask him or her about it. Then listen intently and play back what you have just heard in summary form. By validating their emotions, you’ll help them feel understood so that they can move forward without hindrance.Watch your emotions like a hawkThe techniques above are extremely effective, but both require an awareness of your own emotions in the moment. You may think you have a world-class poker face, but if you’re like the average executive, your weakest self-awareness skills are “understanding how your emotions impact others” and “recognizing the role you have played in creating difficult circumstances.”In other words, you would become a much more effective leader if you obtained a better understanding of what you feel, when you feel it. Practice this by taking notice of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors just as a situation unfolds. The goal is to slow yourself down and take in all that is in front of you, so that you can understand how your emotions influence your behavior and alter your perception of reality.Don’t hold grudgesThe negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat.When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.SleepI’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and improving your relationships. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough - or the right kind - of sleep. Sleep deprivation also raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present.The pressure that leaders are under often makes them feel as if they don’t have time to sleep, but not taking the time to get a decent night’s sleep is often the one thing keeping you from getting things under control.Quash negative self-talkA big step in developing emotional intelligence involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that- thoughts, not facts.When you find yourself believing the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it’s time to stop and write them down. Literally stop what you’re doing and write down what you’re thinking. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity.You can bet that your statements aren’t true any time you use words like “never,” “worst,” “ever,” etc. If your statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend or colleague you trust and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will surely come out.When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived frequency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.When you care, show itThis might be the easiest thing you can do- as long as you actually do it. Good leaders always notice when people on their teams are doing good work, but they don’t often show it. When you appreciate something that another person does, let him or her know about it.Even a quick email or pat on the back goes a long way in this regard. There are people who do great work around you every day. Don’t put off letting them know how you feel about it. Your praise will build fierce loyalty and inspire your people to work even harder.Bringing it all togetherIs your employer perpetuating this trend, or are they bucking it by developing high-EQ leadership? Do you know high-EQ leaders who outshine the rest? Share your experiences in the comments section below, and let’s have a conversation about this important topic.Travis Bradberry is the coauthor of  Emotional Intelligence 2.0  and the cofounder of  TalentSmart.This article originally appeared on  LinkedIn. Why your boss lacks emotional intelligence Over the past century, the heartless, no-nonsense CEO has become something of an icon - and a cliché - in American society. Hollywood would have us believe that the Machiavellian chief exec is still alive and well. But that’s just TV, right? How about in the real world? Do businesses still allow these inhumane relics to survive?To find out,  TalentSmart  analyzed the emotional intelligence (EQ) profiles of the million-plus people in our database - workers from the frontlines to the C-suite. We discovered that the answer is yes, organizations today do promote the emotionally inept . . . except when they don’t. Allow me to explain.We found that EQ scores climb with titles from the bottom of the corporate ladder upward toward middle management. Middle managers stand out with the highest EQ scores in the workplace because companies tend to promote people into these positions who are level-headed and good with people. The assumption here is that a manager with a high EQ is someon e for whom people will want to work.But things change drastically as you move beyond middle management.For the titles of director and above, scores descend faster than a snowboarder on a black diamond. CEOs, on average, have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace.The trick is,  for every title in the graph above, the top performers are those with the highest EQ scores.  Even though CEOs have the lowest EQ scores in the workplace, the best-performing CEOs are those with the highest EQs. You might get promoted with a low EQ, but you won’t outshine your high-EQ competition in your new role.The higher you go above middle management, the more companies focus on metrics to make hiring and promotion decisions. While these short-term, bottom-line indicators are important, it’s shortsighted to make someone a senior leader because of recent monetary achievements. Possibly worse than metrics, companies also promote leaders for their knowledge and tenure, rather than their skill in inspiring others to excel.Companies sell themselves short by selecting leaders who aren’t well-rounded enough to perform at the highest levels for the long term.Once leaders get promoted they enter an environment that tends to erode their emotional intelligence. They spend less time in meaningful interactions with their staff and lose sight of how their emotional states impact those around them. It’s so easy to get out of touch that leaders’ EQ levels sink further. It truly is lonely at the top.Whether you’re a leader now or may become one in the future, you don’t have to succumb to this trend. Your emotional intelligence is completely under your control. Work on your EQ and it will boost your performance now. Your effort can also ensure that you don’t experience declines as you climb the corporate ladder. Even if your employer promotes you for the wrong reasons, you’ll still outperform your contemporaries.To help you get started, here are some of my favorite EQ-boosting strate gies for leaders. They apply to anyone, so give them a try, even if you’re not a leader (yet).Acknowledge other people’s feelingsAssertive, action-oriented executives don’t exactly ignore other people’s feelings. What they tend to do instead is to marginalize them or “fix” them so that they don’t get in the way of action. While some have suggested that this is a predominantly male problem, it can more accurately be described as a “power problem.” People who fail to acknowledge other people’s feelings fail to realize that lingering emotions inhibit effective action.So the next time you notice someone on your team expressing a strong emotion, ask him or her about it. Then listen intently and play back what you have just heard in summary form. By validating their emotions, you’ll help them feel understood so that they can move forward without hindrance.Watch your emotions like a hawkThe techniques above are extremely effective, but both require an awareness of you r own emotions in the moment. You may think you have a world-class poker face, but if you’re like the average executive, your weakest self-awareness skills are “understanding how your emotions impact others” and “recognizing the role you have played in creating difficult circumstances.”In other words, you would become a much more effective leader if you obtained a better understanding of what you feel, when you feel it. Practice this by taking notice of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors just as a situation unfolds. The goal is to slow yourself down and take in all that is in front of you, so that you can understand how your emotions influence your behavior and alter your perception of reality.Don’t hold grudgesThe negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat.When the threat is imminent, this reaction is essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease.Holding onto a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel better now but can also improve your health.SleepI’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and improving your relationships. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough - or the right kind - of sleep. Sleep deprivation also raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present.The pressure that leader s are under often makes them feel as if they don’t have time to sleep, but not taking the time to get a decent night’s sleep is often the one thing keeping you from getting things under control.Quash negative self-talkA big step in developing emotional intelligence involves stopping negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that- thoughts, not facts.When you find yourself believing the negative and pessimistic things your inner voice says, it’s time to stop and write them down. Literally stop what you’re doing and write down what you’re thinking. Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating their veracity.You can bet that your statements aren’t true any time you use words like “never,” “worst,” “ever,” etc. If your statements still look like facts once they’re o n paper, take them to a friend or colleague you trust and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will surely come out.When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived frequency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.When you care, show itThis might be the easiest thing you can do- as long as you actually do it. Good leaders always notice when people on their teams are doing good work, but they don’t often show it. When you appreciate something that another person does, let him or her know about it.Even a quick email or pat on the back goes a long way in this regard. There are people who do great work around you every day. Don’t put off letting them know how you feel about it. Your praise will build fierce loyalty and inspire your people to work even harder.Bringing it all togetherIs your employer perpetuating this trend, or are they bucking it by developing high-EQ leadership? Do you know high-EQ leaders who outshine the rest? Share your experiences in the comments section below, and let’s have a conversation about this important topic.Travis Bradberry is the coauthor of  Emotional Intelligence 2.0  and the cofounder of  TalentSmart.This article originally appeared on  LinkedIn.

4 ways to push through holiday withdrawal

4 ways to push through holiday withdrawal 4 ways to push through holiday withdrawal After holidays like Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and New Year’s, you totally have permission to feel a little sluggish when getting back to work.  Late nights at seasonal gatherings followed by early mornings filled with your favorite treats can really wear you out, but also have a way of making you wish times like these were year-round.Here’s how to get through the holiday withdrawal during your first few days back in the office.Take the breaks you need at workIn other words, don’t do what I did on my first day back in the office this morning. Instead of slogging it out without getting up to take a break, be sure to get up for a change of pace â€" your brain will thank you.Be sure to eat on time, hydrate, and keep your blood flowing properly with brisk walks to break things up a bit during the workday.Start planning something to look forward to - like your next vacationThere’s nothing like having something super-fun coming up in the new year. So why wait?Start organizing fo r that trip you’ve been wanting to take for months (or even years) now. Get the ball rolling by meeting with a travel agent to talk about options in person, and surfing the web for ideas in your free time. Request time off.Once you get back from your trip, keep the good vacation vibes going strong by being your “vacation self” in the office.Keep up with seeing friends and family more often in the new yearWhat did seeing your loved ones do for you? If you felt more centered and reminded of who you are and where you come from, you should seek more of this feeling in the new year - especially if you have big changes coming up at work.To be a good friend, you have to make the time for your peers - here’s how to do it when you’re constantly slammed with things to do.How did seeing your family members make you feel? Re-energized for the new year? Go seek out more of that feeling by meeting with those you love. It can life both your spirit and your mood.Take down those decorati onsI mean this in the least grinch-like way possible, but putting away your holiday items could really help ease the transition back into the grind.Of course, everyone goes at their own pace when it comes to stuff like this, but the last thing you need is a reminder of all the holiday fun you’re not having anymore…until the next occasion comes around, that is.Once you put the boxes away, you can put new things out that remind you of great times you’ve had at different points of the year.

Boost Your Administrative Skills With These 6 Steps

Boost Your Administrative Skills With These 6 Steps Boost Your Administrative Skills With These 6 Steps If you're like most administrative professionals who have been in a job for awhile, you're ready to advance in your career and take your administrative skills to the next level. But you may not be sure what steps you might take. With so much expected in today's demanding and ever-changing business environment, it’s critical that you take stock of your career satisfaction and desire for professional progress. Here are six tips for setting out on the right foot: 1. Pursue training and development Investigate your company's internal training offerings, if it has any. Ask if your employer would provide tuition reimbursement for an outside development course, conference or seminar. Consider the skills you want to develop and whether you can demonstrate how a particular training program will improve your administrative skills, on-the-job performance or contributions to the firm. ADMINISTRATIVE ROLES WE PLACE 2. Join industry associations Become active in organizations like the International Association of Administrative Professionals. Participate in committees, attend seminars and other educational events, and talk with your fellow administrative professionals at meetings. Networking tips can prove valuable to help you get out there and connect. 3. Choose a mentor Find someone with strengths in the area you wish to improve and ask if he or she will assist you. If your employer doesn't have an in-house mentoring program, look for individuals inside or outside the organization whose administrative skills you admire. 4. Take on new challenges If you feel stagnant in your current role, ask your manager about ways you can assume more challenging assignments. Most supervisors will welcome initiative from staff; clearly, it will add value to the team. Showing motivation and ambition also may help you stand out as a candidate for promotion. 5. Help a nonprofit If you can't do more at your company, consider possibilities outside the office, such as through charitable organizations. These groups may be receptive to your interest in supporting them, and you might find mentors who can help you expand your abilities and knowledge. By volunteering on committees or for leadership roles, you can develop administrative skills that not only benefit the organization but also are applicable to your paid job. 6. Participate in diverse projects Listen up during meetings for colleagues requesting assistance with special initiatives. This may be your opportunity to expand your skill set by getting involved in other areas of the department or company. Also offer to help if your boss or colleagues seem overloaded with projects. It is up to you to cultivate your marketability. Thoughtfully evaluate any weaknesses in your set of administrative skills and commit to making improvements. Also stay on top of trends by reading industry research such as the Office Team Salary Guide that discuss developments in the administrative field. You'll help ensure you're staying ahead of the curve rather than scrambling to keep up. Tags